The Synopsis: My Nemesis

I like to think that somewhere, there exists a support group for people like me. People who would rather peel off their fingernails one-by-one than work on writing a synopsis. Or perhaps, I'm just being melodramatic.

I don't know what it is. I appreciate the function the synopsis serves. I admire a finely constructed summary that encapsulates the driving points of a novel. But I absolutely hate having to write one for myself.

Maybe the problem is I'm too much of a "write as you go" sort. I'll have a general outline in mind, but it's not until I put pen to paper that the story really fleshes out in my mind. When "in the zone," I've topped out at 15,000 words in a day. So why is it taking me weeks to come up with a synopsis that doesn't make me want to puke when I read over it?

Anyone with synopsis-writing coping mechanisms? Some jewels of wisdom for the journey? Commiseration, perhaps?

What part of the process do you find most difficult?

Writing Wisdom Wednesday: Mechanics Matter

As writers, we have a lot to think about.

Crafting beautiful imagery.

Creating believable characters.

Spinning dramatic storylines.

Maintaining an authentic voice.

And the list goes on.

One of the most important elements of creating notable fiction (and nonfiction) is utilizing proper mechanics.

Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most frequently overlooked pieces of the writing puzzle.

Now, someone out there is laughing at me. (Probably my sister…stop it Meg!) And that’s because my turbulent relationship with the comma is fairly well documented. Pull any essay from my Freshman year of college and you’ll wonder why I didn’t drop out of the English program and become an accounting major instead (I’m even worse at Math, unfortunately).

The day I got back the first essay of my college career, I was confused by the big letter at the top of the page.

D.

Contrary to my first thought, it didn’t stand for Delightful.

Then, as though I wasn’t devastated enough, my professor informed me that the paper “should have been an A. But your mechanics were awful.” I’ll admit it…they were atrocious. However, it does take a special kind of skill to make 28 mechanical errors in about 3 pages.

I’d like to say that I learned from my (grammatical) mistakes immediately, but that would be a lie.

I went from acing high-school papers to being thisclose to failing. And I had as many excuses as I had misplaced commas.

I was taught to put a comma wherever you would take a breath if you said the sentence aloud. And I’m an asthmatic. So I take breaths A LOT.

Okay, maybe I can’t punctuate to save my life. But the content is sound. And that makes it okay. Content’s the point, right?

It’s a stylistic decision. “Once you know the rules you can break them.” Isn’t that what they say? Well, that’s just how I roll.

But that was the problem. I didn’t know the rules at all. And all the superb content in the world wasn’t going to get me an A on a paper as long as I was incapable of mastering the fundamentals of the craft.

The same applies to writing fiction. So, since I love lists almost as much as I love comma splices, I’ve compiled a couple of grammatical DON’TS.

1) Don’t underestimate the value of proper grammar. I’ve often heard about managers who will discard the application of a highly qualified candidate based on errors in the cover letter. I’m assuming for some, at least, the publishing industry has similar standards. The competition for aspiring writers is stiff. Don’t let something as fixable as bad mechanics kill your chances.

2) Don’t assume that whatever you have to say is so brilliant that your creativity and artistry will outshine your lack of technical precision. Improper punctuation can render the most powerful and moving prose confusing and nonsensical.

3) Don’t trust that Word’s Spelling/Grammar check can do the do the job for you. While I’d probably get sued if I said that the Grammar check is designed to exponentially increase the number of errors in your document, I will—from personal experience—suggest that you not hinge your story’s grammatical success or failure on the recommendations of a computer.

4) Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you don’t have to employ proper mechanics because “that’s an editor’s job.” If I hadn’t learned how to properly insert a comma, it’s unlikely my manuscript would have even been considered for publication. While I’ve never been an editor, so I can’t speak with certainty, but I would imagine that lack of attention to the technical business of writing comes off as laziness or ignorance. Besides, editors are extremely busy people (something I didn’t fully appreciate until I saw the publishing process from start to finish). Editors probably don’t mind clearing out the occasional slip up or typo, but their time is too limited to worry about teaching writers how to write.

I’m sure there are more points to make about the importance of grammar. But frankly, I’ve rambled on longer than I intended. In closing, however, I will assure you that it’s not impossible to become a Grammar Superstar. Is learning about it fun? No, not really. Can employing it be a pain? Absolutely. Will you find grammatical errors in this post? Perhaps if you look closely.

But if you do, remember, the mistakes are intentional. Again, that’s just how I roll.

Figure out who you are...and then be YOU

My first tip. And the most important one I think. Again, I don't claim to be an expert on publishing or getting published. In this industry, I'm not sure you're an expert even after years of inking contracts, simply because things change so much in the publishing world over time. So, of course, take everything I say, figure out what--if anything--is useful to you, and throw out the rest.

Alright, on to my tip. I thought about this because tomorrow I'm acting as an editor so my friend's students can have a mock pitch session. Having done these from the author's end more times than I can count, I'm excited to sit on the other side of the table.

So, I got to thinking, what is the most important thing I've learned meeting so many different editors?

Simple. Be yourself.

So many people try to figure out what a particular editor, house, etc. want them to be...want their work to be. They write, trying to channel Faulkner or Hemingway, or whatever famous author they admire. When you do this, however, you lose the essence of your work. Your voice.

Editors don't want another Faulkner, Hemingway, Tom Clancy, etc. It's already been done. And most likely, any attempts to imitate will actually impair your work. Instead of focusing on the heart of your story, you're worried about sounding similar to those who have gone before.

So, find your own voice. And embrace it. Perhaps you don't write long, flowery, make-the-reader-weep-with-the-beauty-of-it prose. Maybe you are better suited to comedic writing than dark, brooding suspense.

Same goes for meeting editors or agents at a conference. Relax and be yourself. Whatever your zany quirks, or unique traits, they make you more personable...and real. These people are professionals and can spot a fake from a mile away. Authenticity is a plus.

Now, that doesn't give anyone the license to be rude (simply because that's how you normally are ;o), or creepy. So I suppose today has two tips. Be authentic. And respectful.

Any experiences with editors or agents that went brilliantly well or incredibly badly? Share and we'll all commiserate or celebrate together.

Things not to do when submitting a manuscript (or proposal) to an editor

**Repost: Originally from WritersPointe.blogspot.com.

But still authored by me. For whatever that's worth.**

1) Do not misspell the publishing house’s name. This sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised.

2) Do not misspell the editor’s name. (See above). And to take this a step further, make sure that you get the person’s title correct. Do not assume that the person is merely an “editor” when they are the “publisher.” This may result in perpetual silence from the company. Not that I have ever done this, or experienced said silence, of course.

3) Do not forget to actually attach the attachments if sending an email submission. Having to send a follow up email apologizing for your stupidity makes you look, well, stupid. Once again, not that I know this from experience.

4) Do not hesitate to remind the person of your association. If you met at a conference and the editor requested to see your work, be sure to remind him of that in the email. Editors and agents see so many aspiring writers that it’s foolish to believe they will remember you specifically.

5)Do not send in your only copy. In today’s computer-centered society, it’s difficult to imagine that anyone would only have one copy of a manuscript, but what I mean is your only hard copy. Zip your manuscript through a Xerox machine before you mail it. If I had a dime for every flash drive that self-destructed and erased my work because it could no longer stand the honor of housing my brilliance, I’d have about $.75 (I’ve never been good at math). But you get the point. Sometimes I had hard copies to save me . . . and the other times, well, we don’t talk about those.

6) Do not include ringing endorsements in your cover/query letter unless they really matter (For example . . . "Queen Elizabeth II read my story, and she REALLY liked it). If it's not that special, leave it out. While your mother may have called your novel the “next DaVinci Code,” the sad truth is that mothers have to say that kind of stuff…even when it’s untrue. And usually, it is.

7)Do not tell the editor/agent/publisher how much he/she will love your work. For obvious reasons, presumption and arrogance is off-putting to some. Hard to fathom, I know.

8) Do not stalk the editor. Once the submission has been sent, sit back and relax (easy enough to say, I know). Understand that publishing professionals are inundated daily with stuff, and it may take them some time to get to your manuscript. Sending emails every hour on the hour, or calling the office incessantly will probably only get you a restraining order in the mail, not an acceptance letter.